12.12.09

Delirium

I live with two white male college students.



I can hear the sounds of black domestic violence through the thin walls.



I can’t make out the words, but the punctuated cries tell me their story.



It’s fraught with oppressive poverty, delinquent phone bills and NSF fees.



I call the landlady to complain. She hurries to our apartment.



I don’t have time to hide the cat. She walks in to find my two cats cavorting around the living room.



“You can only have one pet.” Is the first thing she says when I open the door.



“Give me a little time to find them a home.” I plead as Mr. Whiskers runs behind the curtain. Miss Emma has just swatted him with a vindictive paw. “Wow! He’s a magnum!” is the curious response from the landlady to the ongoing feline kerfuffle.



“What?”



“And this one is gonna be a mommy!” The landlady squeals with excitement.



“How can you tell?” I ask as I inspect Miss Emma’s fluffy belly. She’s purring heavily and her black coat feels soft and delicate.





DOG BARKS LOUDLY



END OF DREAM SEQUENCE



I wake up in the dark. I’m not sure where I am. Am I back in Tuscaloosa?



My body quivers and I am transported back to West Africa.



I stretch out my hand to touch the white gossamer mosquito net.



It is all just a dream.

In reality I live alone in a small concrete house in rural Liberia.
I take Lariam (anti- Malaria medication) and have the most vivid dreams. It's a side-effect of the medication. Sometimes I feel like the dreams are so real. I can hear, taste, and smell my dreams. Liberia is full of dreams and nightmares. I live in a parallel world.
I'm going to church tomorrow.

Tears and Smeared Make up

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I teach in the palaver hut. We don’t have books, but everyone has an opinion. Some students walk in late and tend to their cell phone business. I ignore the overt rudeness and open the discussion. Today’s chat is health and gender.


How is it possible for there to be existing health disparities between males and females?

Next semester I want to collaborate with the County Health Department and include my students. If they are involved in their community, they will be more motivated and responsible. At least that’s what I think.

Class ends on a positive note. I walk to the administrative building to check my email. It is always a pleasure to be here. Although the internet works intermittently, I have a chance to catch up on the goings on of campus life. I find out The Miss Cuttington pageant was a mild scandal. It was biggest event in Bong County last Saturday. There were MCs from RTV, the winner from A Star is Born performed, and the audience rioted. It wasn’t anything major. UNMIL was not called out to quell the crowd, but crowns and tiaras were flying. In the crowds defense the MCs from Monrovia allowed a lot of dead air between acts and that agitated people. Some of the performing groups were apparently operating on L.I.B. time (not punctual). Instead of the MCs calling another act or telling jokes to fill in the space, they simply sat down and waited with the audience. This probably contributed to the fan’s eventual emotional upheaval. When the winner was called, the audience bum-rushed the stage crying shenanigans and voting fraud. Students are very animated here. There were tears and smeared make-up. The queen wasn’t crowned, because of the mob. All in all it was a success.

Ground Pea Queen

My Peace Corps friends and I reminisce on forgotten luxuries, like continuous electricity, running potable water, and well-stocked grocery stores. I often walk to the Phebe compound to visit them. They have a secret hidden joy. They know where the best ground pea (peanut) candy is. If I can’t have hot showers or electricity, I can at least eat delicately roasted peanuts suspended in a brittle caramelized sugary shell. I like to put chocolate frosting on the small ground pea candy disks and call it ground pea kwee. Kwee is the name for all things Western. I can only buy Duncan Hines frosting at the Stop & Shop in Monrovia. Out here I just eat the candy and dream about the frosting.


Lenny is a mocha-colored dream girl from New Orleans. We’re the same complexion, but she has light green eyes that mesmerize the dark-skinned Liberians. She’s stationed at Phebe Hospital. Lenny shows me the ground pea lady’s stand. It’s in a terrible location, near a trash heap and a broken latrine. It smells like sewage and chickens scamper through the trash. I ignore the smell and eat my small piece of heaven on the way back to their house.

“I met a man in Monrovia.” Lenny begins

I’m more interested in not dropping any of the brittle goodness and keep eating.

“Uh-ha” I murmur.

“He’s an ex-marine and works for the United Nations.”

“Umm, ok.”

“I hope he’s not interested in only booty calls.”

“Umm, I hope not too.”

Just then a large piece of candy falls from her mouth and lands in the dirt.

“Shit!” Lenny exclaims

“You know the ants won’t even appreciate the goodness they’re about to eat. They’ll just swarm and cart it off without ever realizing that was the best candy in Liberia.” I wax philosophical. “I may give you a piece of mine.”

We make it up the dirt hill and a female dog is wagging her tale like a flag. Lenny calls out her name. It’s a white dog with brown spots. Keke is the name of all mutts around here.

“Hey Keke! Where’s your boyfriend.” Keke scurries off into the bush. Dogs don’t trust people. They know they are food and rarely pets. I walk in their house clutching two pieces of candy close to my chest. Their house is similar to mine, but only larger. Their kitchen is cluttered with cobwebs and ants march around the countertops undisturbed. I gobble up a piece of candy just so the ants won’t have a chance to eat it. I should mention that I have a maid and they don’t. The other roommates make it home and they invite me to dinner of lentils and couscous. I share the last piece of candy with Reilly and Wally. They’ve had long days traveling from Monrovia, and I’m feeling generous.

Moonlight Drive

The evening sun departs and a bright moon shines through every window of the house. There’s a full moon on a cloudless night and we laugh.


Do you know what a goathead is? Wally asks me. The other girls chuckle shyly.

Nooo, should I?

Ahh, it is the Liberian term for cunnilingus.

How did you ever figure that out?

A goat was slaughtered at a party and a few Liberians asked the old Oma if she likes goat head. Everyone laughed when she said ‘yes’.



That is such an ugly term for such a beautiful thing. I want to stay, but the night is growing late. It’s time to go home.

Around 10:00 p.m. we head to the bus stop. The hospital has a shift change around 10:30 p.m. and the bus ferries the nurses back to Cuttington. We run into the head of the County Health Department—Gus. He’s on his way to pick up his fiancĂ©e from work.

“The bus comes in about half an hour.” Gus says. “Let’s walk to my office and sit.” The fluorescent lights flicker on and I see huge black binders resting neatly atop each other. “Malaria” “STIs”

“What’s all this?” I ask pointing to the binders full of data on diseases.

“Oh, I’m the county health analyst. I also give health talks in the community”

“If you ever need another person to deliver health talks let me know.” I say with a smile and bright eyes. He nods back.

Just then his second in command stumbles in the office—Alphonso.

Alphonso has a slight build and is clearly agitated.

“That girl will never be my friend again! She should never be your friend again either!” He blurts out to Gus.

Gus smiles and remarks that Alphonso was dating two women and the jilted lover caught him with another lady.

“She waste beer on me! I didn’ reac' to Joni’s vexation! I was sitting dere with Gorpu. Gorpu is a married woman! Wha' if I stood up and everyone woul' have seen me with Gorpu? That would have been bad for everyone. Lucky, I was cool.” Alphonso drawls out in Liberian English.

We all agree Alphonso is so very lucky to only have a stained collar. He didn’t feel bad for dating two women. He didn’t feel bad for dating a married woman. It was the woman’s reaction to his infidelity that had him vexed. Vexed is used so much in Liberian English. It means perturbed or annoyed and fell out of the American vernacular nearly a century ago.

I say good night and walk to the bus. A group of nurses are dressed in their pale blue and white pleated uniforms. There’s a large crowd of women and one woman is pleading with the male driver. In front of the graves of the slain healthcare workers killed in the crisis, a nurse waves her hands punctuating the stark moonlit sky. She swoops down and touches his foot. “I say. For why? Please. I beg you. Take us home.” The male bus driver is drunk and unwilling to drive to the neighboring village of S.D.K. He finally gives in and cranks up the bus. It lurches slowly forward and we bump through the bright moonlight on our way home.

This is Africa.

15.11.09

I'm Not a Bank

I’m acquiring a wealth of knowledge regarding kinship, gender roles, the educational system, and political structure of Liberia, but should I have to pay for it? It seems many Liberians assume I am wealthy; therefore the bill should always come to me. Yesterday I rebuked that trend and I asserted that I am not USAID, the World Bank, or anyone’s personal ATM. I am privileged and possess more social capital than most Liberians, but I am not financially wealthy, nor do I appreciate being made to carry the burden of paying when I am simply a volunteer.
Today is the day we return to Galai. Our motorbike taxi driver picks me up at 10:45 a.m. We drive to Plato’s place and he stands outside. He wants to grab a drink of hot chocolate at his neighbors, before we leave. A brown dog sits on the steps of their porch. She stands to inspect him and I glance at her hanging teats. “Another whelping dog,” I think. I see so many whelping dogs, but so few feral strays. People eat dogs. No need for Bob Barker to remind the audience to help control the pet population, by having your dog or cat fixed. Here people eat the unwanted animals. However, some are pets. This healthy dog seems like a pet and she greets me with her dog hug. Two feet on my trousers and she stretches her body forward so I can scratch her chin. I miss my dog at home, but do not want a pet in this country. There are very few veterinarians and the weather is miserable for most long- haired animals. I wait for him to finish and we drive off to Galai.
The red gravel roads create clouds of chalky dust as we pass. Our driver is cautious at every dip and ravine, so we don’t crash. The dry season turns streams into mini deserts. We arrive in Galai dusty and tired. Our informal Kpelle emissary welcomes us with a scrumptious feast of bush meat, pumpkin, country rice, and pineapple. We sit under a huge tree and I take a small amount of pumpkin. I notice something cooked inside the stewed pumpkin. “What kind of meat is this?” I ask. “Bush meat. Hedgehog.” He answers. My stomach turns and I look down at a dog that is sitting near my feet. Maybe this scrawny dog will get all my bush meat. I try a piece to be polite. It tastes like tender roast beef, but is light and lacks a gamey flavor. I like it. I have two small portions. The country rice is soft and sweet. The dog only receives bones and gristle. I thank our host and he sends for palm wine. I wonder if I have to pay him more than a thank you, so I ask Plato. “You are his guest and he welcomes you. Last week he visited you. This is his time to return the favor.” Plato says. I sit back and wait for the palm wine.



A small cluster of townspeople gathers under the tree. We are guests and everyone wants an introduction.  A very important man in the village, Papaet, sits next to me. He is the bridge contractor. The World Bank builds bridges with Liberian labor and engineering. He tells me the World Bank allocates money and hires a team of Liberian monitors and evaluators to ensure every task is done. However he doesn’t know how much the World Bank’s budget is. He just knows his cost. As he explains his role in building bridges throughout northeastern Liberia, a middle- aged man enters the circle. He begs to sit on my left side. He introduces himself as Jackson R. Dolo. “Please, I need a bit of soap to wash my clothes.” He begs, but the group of men scoffs.  He turns to me. I have only questions. “Are you from Galai?” Jackson responds; “This is not my home. I am living with my sister. She married a man from Galai and I moved with her.” “Is that traditional for a brother to move with his sister,” I ask. Jackson says, “yes.” Papanyet a man nearly fifty with a broad chest, rough hands, and intelligent eyes raises his hand with authoritative power. Jackson sits silently. “Normally I would not say anything, unless it is untrue. I must rebuke what this man says.” Papanyet adds. He has domestic troubles and does not have a farm of his own. If he had taken care of his affairs while he was young, he would not be living with his sister.” Jackson meekly starts over. “I’m starving.” Papanyet raises his hand again. “No, you were handsome as a young man and never learned a trade or got an education. Your time has passed! Now is not the time to beg from this woman. It does not work like that!” Jackson mumbles, “I’m not lazy.” Papanyet turns to me and says, “It is a bad thing for a brother to live with his sister. If the sister would have problems with her husband, he could not act as the father. Jackson is bound to her in-laws.”
In accordance with patrilineal lines of kinship, the male son acts as the father and can negotiate on his sister’s behalf. If a woman does not have a brother, her paternal uncle’s son performs the same function. The maternal uncle’s son is important, but not doesn’t perform the same function or have the same prestige as the father’s son. If the “mother’s son” visits his newly married cousin, and he brings a chicken, the father’s son must bring a goat. The father’s son’s presence brings more commotion and excites the husband more than the mother’s son. Since the daughter is dowried, a breach in the marriage contract could result in return or forfeiture of the dowry or the bride. The father’s son or the father can negotiate such transactions. A woman brings a certain amount of wealth or goods into the marriage when she leaves her father’s home. This money is to ensure that she is properly taken care of. Now that Jackson lives with his sister’s in- laws, he is a disgrace to the other men in the village. He attempts to credit his disgrace to the civil war, but the whole crowd rebukes him. Everyone has lost something or someone in the war. “I have lost my brother, but I had to work with my bare hands to get what I have now.” Papanyet says.  “My brother is dead and I had to marry his wife. It is my responsibility to my brother’s children to care for them. I have had to make may sacrifices for my family.” A levirate marriage is a custom by which a man may be obliged to marry his brother's widow. It was very common in ancient Hebrew culture hence the name and exists in many modern patrilineal societies. Anthropology 436- Social Structure is coming to life for the first time. I am diagramming the social structure in my head as he speaks. I want to contact Dr. Murphy, former professor, and tell him I finally understand why we had to map out those tedious charts on tests. This information is priceless, but I do not offer him any money for his story. He is the big man in the village and my offering of $1 would probably be insulting. I decide if I want to record his story, I’ll offer him a sitting fee. The sun is moving across the sky and our shade is retreating. We begin to disperse. I thank him and look over my shoulder to see Jackson hovering around a group of working men. A busy chainsaw makes a menacing sound. A tree needs to be felled and the men prepare their tools to go into the bush. Jackson stoops over with his hands on his knees. He doesn’t offer a hand or say very much. He will be left to beg for soap in the village, as the men work in the bush. I give him nothing, but a passing glance.
I walk through the village looking for art and furniture to purchase. I would like to replace my old wobbly dining chairs with sturdy wicker ones. There is a talented weaver and I pay him a visit. He offers me two chairs for 400 LD. They will be ready in one week. I hope they are large enough and durable. I will only pay if they are. I am realizing it is better to offer work than money.   

I’m acquiring a wealth of knowledge regarding kinship, gender roles, the educational system, and political structure of Liberia, but should I have to pay for it? It seems many Liberians assume I am wealthy; therefore the bill should always come to me. Yesterday I rebuked that trend and I asserted that I am not USAID, the World Bank, or anyone’s personal ATM. I am privileged and possess more social capital than most Liberians, but I am not financially wealthy, nor do I appreciate being made to carry the burden of paying when I am simply a volunteer.
Today is the day we return to Galai. Our motorbike taxi driver picks me up at 10:45 a.m. We drive to Plato’s place and he stands outside. He wants to grab a drink of hot chocolate at his neighbors, before we leave. A brown dog sits on the steps of their porch. She stands to inspect him and I glance at her hanging teats. “Another whelping dog,” I think. I see so many whelping dogs, but so few feral strays. People eat dogs. No need for Bob Barker to remind the audience to help control the pet population, by having your dog or cat fixed. Here people eat the unwanted animals. However, some are pets. This healthy dog seems like a pet and she greets me with her dog hug. Two feet on my trousers and she stretches her body forward so I can scratch her chin. I miss my dog at home, but do not want a pet in this country. There are very few veterinarians and the weather is miserable for most long- haired animals. I wait for him to finish and we drive off to Galai.
The red gravel roads create clouds of chalky dust as we pass. Our driver is cautious at every dip and ravine, so we don’t crash. The dry season turns streams into mini deserts. We arrive in Galai dusty and tired. Our informal Kpelle emissary welcomes us with a scrumptious feast of bush meat, pumpkin, country rice, and pineapple. We sit under a huge tree and I take a small amount of pumpkin. I notice something cooked inside the stewed pumpkin. “What kind of meat is this?” I ask. “Bush meat. Hedgehog.” He answers. My stomach turns and I look down at a dog that is sitting near my feet. Maybe this scrawny dog will get all my bush meat. I try a piece to be polite. It tastes like tender roast beef, but is light and lacks a gamey flavor. I like it. I have two small portions. The country rice is soft and sweet. The dog only receives bones and gristle. I thank our host and he sends for palm wine. I wonder if I have to pay him more than a thank you, so I ask Plato. “You are his guest and he welcomes you. Last week he visited you. This is his time to return the favor.” Plato says. I sit back and wait for the palm wine.
A small cluster of townspeople gathers under the tree. We are guests and everyone wants an introduction.  A very important man in the village, Papanyet, sits next to me. He is the bridge contractor. The World Bank builds bridges with Liberian labor and engineering. He tells me the World Bank allocates money and hires a team of Liberian monitors and evaluators to ensure every task is done. However he doesn’t know how much the World Bank’s budget is. He just knows his cost. As he explains his role in building bridges throughout northeastern Liberia, a middle- aged man enters the circle. He begs to sit on my left side. He introduces himself as Jackson R. Dolo. “Please, I need a bit of soap to wash my clothes.” He begs, but the group of men scoffs.  He turns to me. I have only questions. “Are you from Galai?” Jackson responds; “This is not my home. I am living with my sister. She married a man from Galai and I moved with her.” “Is that traditional for a brother to move with his sister,” I ask. Jackson says, “yes.” Papanyet a man nearly fifty with a broad chest, rough hands, and intelligent eyes raises his hand with authoritative power. Jackson sits silently. “Normally I would not say anything, unless it is untrue. I must rebuke what this man says.” Papanyet adds. He has domestic troubles and does not have a farm of his own. If he had taken care of his affairs while he was young, he would not be living with his sister.” Jackson meekly starts over. “I’m starving.” Papanyet raises his hand again. “No, you were handsome as a young man and never learned a trade or got an education. Your time has passed! Now is not the time to beg from this woman. It does not work like that!” Jackson mumbles, “I’m not lazy.” Papanyet turns to me and says, “It is a bad thing for a brother to live with his sister. If the sister would have problems with her husband, he could not act as the father. Jackson is bound to her in-laws.”
In accordance with patrilineal lines of kinship, the male son acts as the father and can negotiate on his sister’s behalf. If a woman does not have a brother, her paternal uncle’s son performs the same function. The maternal uncle’s son is important, but not doesn’t perform the same function or have the same prestige as the father’s son. If the “mother’s son” visits his newly married cousin, and he brings a chicken, the father’s son must bring a goat. The father’s son’s presence brings more commotion and excites the husband more than the mother’s son. Since the daughter is dowried, a breach in the marriage contract could result in return or forfeiture of the dowry or the bride. The father’s son or the father can negotiate such transactions. A woman brings a certain amount of wealth or goods into the marriage when she leaves her father’s home. This money is to ensure that she is properly taken care of. Now that Jackson lives with his sister’s in- laws, he is a disgrace to the other men in the village. He attempts to credit his disgrace to the civil war, but the whole crowd rebukes him. Everyone has lost something or someone in the war. “I have lost my brother, but I had to work with my bare hands to get what I have now.” Papanyet says.  “My brother is dead and I had to marry his wife. It is my responsibility to my brother’s children to care for them. I have had to make may sacrifices for my family.” A levirate marriage is a custom by which a man may be obliged to marry his brother's widow. It was very common in ancient Hebrew culture hence the name and exists in many modern patrilineal societies. Anthropology 436- Social Structure is coming to life for the first time. I am diagramming the social structure in my head as he speaks. I want to contact Dr. Murphy, former professor, and tell him I finally understand why we had to map out those tedious charts on tests. This information is priceless, but I do not offer him any money for his story. He is the big man in the village and my offering of $1 would probably be insulting. I decide if I want to record his story, I’ll offer him a sitting fee. The sun is moving across the sky and our shade is retreating. We begin to disperse. I thank him and look over my shoulder to see Jackson hovering around a group of working men. A busy chainsaw makes a menacing sound. A tree needs to be felled and the men prepare their tools to go into the bush. Jackson stoops over with his hands on his knees. He doesn’t offer a hand or say very much. He will be left to beg for soap in the village, as the men work in the bush. I give him nothing, but a passing glance.
I walk through the village looking for art and furniture to purchase. I would like to replace my old wobbly dining chairs with sturdy wicker ones. There is a talented weaver and I pay him a visit. He offers me two chairs for 400 LD. They will be ready in one week. I hope they are large enough and durable. I will only pay if they are. I am realizing it is better to offer work than money.   

I'm Not a Bank


I’m acquiring a wealth of knowledge regarding kinship, gender roles, the educational system, and political structure of Liberia, but should I have to pay for it? It seems many Liberians assume I am wealthy; therefore the bill should always come to me. Yesterday I rebuked that trend and I asserted that I am not USAID, the World Bank, or anyone’s personal ATM. I am privileged and possess more social capital than most Liberians, but I am not financially wealthy, nor do I appreciate being made to carry the burden of paying when I am simply a volunteer.
Today is the day we return to Galai. Our motorbike taxi driver picks me up at 10:45 a.m. We drive to Plato’s place and he stands outside. He wants to grab a drink of hot chocolate at his neighbors, before we leave. A brown dog sits on the steps of their porch. She stands to inspect him and I glance at her hanging teats. “Another whelping dog,” I think. I see so many whelping dogs, but so few feral strays. People eat dogs. No need for Bob Barker to remind the audience to help control the pet population, by having your dog or cat fixed. Here people eat the unwanted animals. However, some are pets. This healthy dog seems like a pet and she greets me with her dog hug. Two feet on my trousers and she stretches her body forward so I can scratch her chin. I miss my dog at home, but do not want a pet in this country. There are very few veterinarians and the weather is miserable for most long- haired animals. I wait for him to finish and we drive off to Galai.
The red gravel roads create clouds of chalky dust as we pass. Our driver is cautious at every dip and ravine, so we don’t crash. The dry season turns streams into mini deserts. We arrive in Galai dusty and tired. Our informal Kpelle emissary welcomes us with a scrumptious feast of bush meat, pumpkin, country rice, and pineapple. We sit under a huge tree and I take a small amount of pumpkin. I notice something cooked inside the stewed pumpkin. “What kind of meat is this?” I ask. “Bush meat. Hedgehog.” He answers. My stomach turns and I look down at a dog that is sitting near my feet. Maybe this scrawny dog will get all my bush meat. I try a piece to be polite. It tastes like tender roast beef, but is light and lacks a gamey flavor. I like it. I have two small portions. The country rice is soft and sweet. The dog only receives bones and gristle. I thank our host and he sends for palm wine. I wonder if I have to pay him more than a thank you, so I ask Plato. “You are his guest and he welcomes you. Last week he visited you. This is his time to return the favor.” Plato says. I sit back and wait for the palm wine.
A small cluster of townspeople gathers under the tree. We are guests and everyone wants an introduction.  A very important man in the village, Papanyet, sits next to me. He is the bridge contractor. The World Bank builds bridges with Liberian labor and engineering. He tells me the World Bank allocates money and hires a team of Liberian monitors and evaluators to ensure every task is done. However he doesn’t know how much the World Bank’s budget is. He just knows his cost. As he explains his role in building bridges throughout northeastern Liberia, a middle- aged man enters the circle. He begs to sit on my left side. He introduces himself as Jackson R. Dolo. “Please, I need a bit of soap to wash my clothes.” He begs, but the group of men scoffs.  He turns to me. I have only questions. “Are you from Galai?” Jackson responds; “This is not my home. I am living with my sister. She married a man from Galai and I moved with her.” “Is that traditional for a brother to move with his sister,” I ask. Jackson says, “yes.” Papanyet a man nearly fifty with a broad chest, rough hands, and intelligent eyes raises his hand with authoritative power. Jackson sits silently. “Normally I would not say anything, unless it is untrue. I must rebuke what this man says.” Papanyet adds. He has domestic troubles and does not have a farm of his own. If he had taken care of his affairs while he was young, he would not be living with his sister.” Jackson meekly starts over. “I’m starving.” Papanyet raises his hand again. “No, you were handsome as a young man and never learned a trade or got an education. Your time has passed! Now is not the time to beg from this woman. It does not work like that!” Jackson mumbles, “I’m not lazy.” Papanyet turns to me and says, “It is a bad thing for a brother to live with his sister. If the sister would have problems with her husband, he could not act as the father. Jackson is bound to her in-laws.”
In accordance with patrilineal lines of kinship, the male son acts as the father and can negotiate on his sister’s behalf. If a woman does not have a brother, her paternal uncle’s son performs the same function. The maternal uncle’s son is important, but not doesn’t perform the same function or have the same prestige as the father’s son. If the “mother’s son” visits his newly married cousin, and he brings a chicken, the father’s son must bring a goat. The father’s son’s presence brings more commotion and excites the husband more than the mother’s son. Since the daughter is dowried, a breach in the marriage contract could result in return or forfeiture of the dowry or the bride. The father’s son or the father can negotiate such transactions. A woman brings a certain amount of wealth or goods into the marriage when she leaves her father’s home. This money is to ensure that she is properly taken care of. Now that Jackson lives with his sister’s in- laws, he is a disgrace to the other men in the village. He attempts to credit his disgrace to the civil war, but the whole crowd rebukes him. Everyone has lost something or someone in the war. “I have lost my brother, but I had to work with my bare hands to get what I have now.” Papanyet says.  “My brother is dead and I had to marry his wife. It is my responsibility to my brother’s children to care for them. I have had to make may sacrifices for my family.” A levirate marriage is a custom by which a man may be obliged to marry his brother's widow. It was very common in ancient Hebrew culture hence the name and exists in many modern patrilineal societies. Anthropology 436- Social Structure is coming to life for the first time. I am diagramming the social structure in my head as he speaks. I want to contact Dr. Murphy, former professor, and tell him I finally understand why we had to map out those tedious charts on tests. This information is priceless, but I do not offer him any money for his story. He is the big man in the village and my offering of $1 would probably be insulting. I decide if I want to record his story, I’ll offer him a sitting fee. The sun is moving across the sky and our shade is retreating. We begin to disperse. I thank him and look over my shoulder to see Jackson hovering around a group of working men. A busy chainsaw makes a menacing sound. A tree needs to be felled and the men prepare their tools to go into the bush. Jackson stoops over with his hands on his knees. He doesn’t offer a hand or say very much. He will be left to beg for soap in the village, as the men work in the bush. I give him nothing, but a passing glance.
I walk through the village looking for art and furniture to purchase. I would like to replace my old wobbly dining chairs with sturdy wicker ones. There is a talented weaver and I pay him a visit. He offers me two chairs for 400 LD. They will be ready in one week. I hope they are large enough and durable. I will only pay if they are. I am realizing it is better to offer work than money.   

2.11.09

Black girl calls me ‘mama’ and buries her head in my lap.


I’m not her mama—just a stranger drinking palm wine under the tree.

She follows me around the campsite,

But I don’t take her home

Or even imagine taking her with me.

She can stay in the mud and thatch hut.

Round-faced with splotchy light brown skin

This little girl is pretty.

Her nose is runnin’ and her dress is filthy.

I wipe her nose with the white lace collar

Her snotty dampness touches me.

I can’t be anybody’s mama here.

Black woman calls me ‘bright skin.’

I’m not ‘bright skin’ but brown-skinned Emme from Alabama.

I’m black like they are, but not quite as black.

A young woman with a crippled leg wobbles into her yard to greet me.

She wants to be my friend. She says.

“I’ve seen you before, but never had the chance to talk to you. I admire you.”

“Why?”

“I guess . . . I just like you naturally.”

I’d like to chat, but I am expecting a package—a hen for my cockerel.

I thought raising chickens was a good idea.

The hen never arrives.

I’m left with the noisy chatter of ‘Roger the Rooster.’

He squawked his way out of my life this evening and hasn’t returned.

He won’t be missed.

He isn’t a dog, or a cat, or anything which should be missed.

I can’t scratch under his chin or rub his belly.

He just cock-a-doodle-doo- doos everywhere.

I’m sick of him.

Who has a story to tell?

Everyone has a few.

I’m ready to hear them,

If they are ready to tell them.

I won’t ask,

But when they’re ready,

I’ll listen.

 local Palm- wine drinkard and proprietor- listed respectively

24.10.09

The Road to Galai


Every morning at 7:30 am Harriet chimes, “Ellan.” It’s my wake up call to let the housekeeper in. She cleans, cooks. Well, she used to cook until I became too shy to taste her Liberian dishes. She washes clothes by hand instead. She works six days a week for about six hours a day. I pay her $80 a month, a common wage for domestic help. It is slightly less than what a secondary school teacher earns. She has three school- aged children and married to a security guard. We don’t talk much. I’m not sure what we would talk about. Her life is remotely different from mine. I tried talking with her a few times, but the confused look on her face soon quieted the chatter. She understands basic directives and money. Maybe that is all she needs to know. “How much?” Is almost always responded with the price and her hand out.
I like Harriet. She does her work and is a very good cook. She is punctual and surprisingly young. Every morning she pays 20 LD one-way to ride a motorbike taxi to my house. I think riding motorbikes is cool, but dangerous. Maybe that explains the allure. I am daring death or at least a broken clavicle every time I hitch a ride.
Former combatants were given money in exchange for arms and an overwhelming majority bought motorbikes. They are cheap, dependable, and can quickly pay for themselves as motorbike taxis. While many Liberians waited in exile as the civil wars swelled thunderously over towns and villages, they witnessed new and different modes of transportation and thinking. The motorbike taxi is a product of exile. At least that is how a Liberian explained it to me. “They didn’t have these before the war. You saw these in Ivory Coast, Guinea. We had real taxis before the war.” Plato confidently told me. Real taxis with meters drove on paved roads before the wars. It is hard to believe Liberia had a functioning transportation system from the decrepit roads and ill-maintained cars. I rode in an early model Nissan Stanza with seven people. Three up front while the driver shifted gears, and four grown men in the back. The car ahead had as many people with one person hanging off the back. Necessity makes people do crazy things.
Last Saturday, I took the motorbike to a remote village behind Cuttington. Galai is a medium-sized Pelle village with no school or electric generator. Its main source of food and revenue is harvesting rice and animal husbandry. Goats, chicken, and dog are the main sources of protein. A few orange, plantain, and coconut groves dot the landscape and provide shade. It is a beautiful village, but not romantic in any sense.
Upon my arrival many village men welcomed me with ceremonial handshakes and a traditional kola nut offering. Kola nut is chewed or made into a drink and contains caffeine. Extremely bitter, but surprisingly addictive, I took a few bites. Only one woman came to watch me speak English and take pictures--Fenta. She was to show me around the village and be my female guide. The rest of the women were busy harvesting rice in the village. An idyllic scene of communal harmony and cooperation unfolded as I walked through the village. The half-naked children stared and pointed at me—the stranger. I couldn’t help but wish I were back in the States, during Old Navy’s end of the season sale. “I could buy all these naked children board shorts and t-shirts.” I thought to myself. One boy wore a pair of trousers, but the fly was completely broken. His uncircumcised penis just hung out there. “What was the point of having pants?” I thought.
I began to wonder were the citizens affected by the conflict. The village was so harmonious and idyllic I wanted to romanticize it. I wanted to believe they never had a reason to fight. Still, I needed to know. As Fenta demonstrated how to sift moist rice and dry the fine grains on a mat, I noticed the mat was not a regular mat at all. In faded, yet clearly visible, letters I saw UNHCR.  United Nations High Commission on Refugees supplied this village with food. If not all people were displaced, some certainly were. This village had more stories to tell, but I didn’t have enough time. Our motorbike driver was only paid by the hour and it was time to drive home. I left too early, but with an open invitation. In a few weeks I will return for the day and maybe bring books, clothes, ideas, a new way. No, I will just return to listen and nothing more. No need to make premature promises I can’t keep.

18.10.09

Palm Wine: An alcoholic drink made from fermented palm sap.


A quick motorbike ride from campus to Phebe Junction costs about 25 LD and there you can buy basic necessities and drink palm wine under a tree. A small cup of palm wine costs $10 and a big cup costs $25 LD.
Friendly stranger to Palm wine lady dealer: “I’d like to try a small bit of palm wine, please.” Palm wine lady to friendly stranger: “$10 small cup. $25 big cup.” Friendly stranger again: “Yes, I would only like to try a little bit. Hmm, will it make me drunk?” Palm wine lady: “Yeah, you get drunk! $10 small cup. $25 big cup!” The small crowds of locals sit under a huge and shady cottonwood tree. “Will I go blind? Why is it murky white in color? Why is an ant floating on top? Can’t she filter that out?” All these thoughts raced through my mind. I took the big cup and took a swig. $25. Big Cup. The small crowds of locals all toast. I just realized I was at the Pelle version of Cheers. The G-Star Production Company is maybe not quite like Cheers. I never remember an episode where kids were welcomed or where coasters said such interesting lines like “Love the Ladies cka Lady Lover.”
 A ragtag group of children found me sitting under the tree. In Pelle, one said: “My mom is going to buy me a pair of eyeballs tomorrow” pointing to my glasses. Two girls touched my cheap silver necklace and I pretended to gobble up their hands as they grabbed at my necklace. It became a game of keep away. After a few minutes I grew bored. They tugged on my necklace a few times hoping to squeal with delight, but I ignored them. I wanted to be teacher for a while. I wanted to play Simon Says. Like “Simon says; touch your ear. Simon says; touch your nose.” However, we were communicating with nonverbal cues and a translator. First I had to gauge if they knew them the parts of the face in English. “Show me your nose,” as I pointed to my nose. They all touched their noses. I took my hand down and said, “Show me your nose. Nose. Nose,” they looked perplexed. I quickly touched their noses and said, “Nose, Nose, Nose. This is your nose” “Show me your ears,” and they immediately pulled their ears and said “Ears!” I could have stayed longer, but my ride was ready to say goodbye. I walked to the center of camp where dried out hotdogs rested on a coal grill beneath a thatch roof. “Come inside.” Plato invited me into Harriet’s hut to eat. This man is always eating. I stooped down to find a crude bench and table with three women and a man eating kitali soup. I had just drunk palm wine and didn’t want to press my luck with too much culinary variety. I declined. Then the children from before had followed me and were standing in hut giggling and reaching into my backpack. A coal pit was still fuming from dinner and I did not want them to fall over on it. They wanted to play. I walked outside and they followed. I played rocket ship. Lifting a few kids in the air and I made a swooshing sound and pretended they were in flight. Then more kids showed up and a crowd of four or five Pelle children drew close smiling with curiosity. “Oh, boy! I can’t pick up all these kids. I’ll throw my back out.” I thought to myself. Some probably weighed forty pounds and I have a hard time carrying a sack of dog food from the cart to the scanner at Wal-Mart. “Just leave it. I’ll scan from here.” Says the Wal-Mart Checkout Lady. They are always so helpful with the detachable scanner.
Young Girl points to Friendly Stranger then points to the dried up hotdogs on the grill. Friendly Stranger to Young Girl: “Noooo.” I walked back inside and she follows. She lifted up my bag and found two bags of plantain chips. “They found your chips. Give it to them.” Plato said. Her mother quickly ushered her out. I walked out too. Outside she sat on a low stool and looked impatiently at me. Her crossed arms and pout said a lot. “Chips! You are not leaving without giving me something. I played with you and made you laugh. Now, give me the chips! I opened the bag and said. “Now, you must share.” I counted loudly the amount of children standing around and modeled it for her. I took a chip and gave one to each child, saying “One, two, three, four, five.” She screamed back “Six, seven, eight!” Wow, she was quick! Her mother waked out and I gave her one bag of chips. She watched and then sat back down on the stool. Next she began sharing the chips with every child. My work was finished and I walked inside. Plato was finishing his meal and talking about birthday ads at the television station. “Your birthday will be announced on Cuttington University TV for only 200 LD.” Plato explains. A young woman named Bee Williams nods her head. It was a good deal.  “With a name like Williams her ancestors probably left slavery in the United States for freedom in Liberia. Now descendents of those American slaves sit in a thatch and mud hut, covered in coal dust, discussing televised birthday announcements.

10.10.09

Monrovia, Liberia

Everyone has their agendas—retrieving lost bags, Cellcom internet adaptors, and electric kettles. I had a lot less on my agenda—scratch cards and change USD. This took maybe 20 minutes and was done in between everyone else’s busy schedules. I just traveled along and watched our chaperone’s legs nervously jump as the time was eaten up by American consumerism. The road to Kakata and Bong County is notoriously bumpy and dangerous at night. I knew he didn’t want to drive back at nightime, but he had to concede to the electric kettle and internet connectivity. He even allowed us to stop at the Exclusive Supermarket for our last candy bars and fresh yogurt. I thought our driver and chaperone would get hungry on the way back. I bought bread, drinks, and chocolates. We shared while Electric Kettle and Internet Connectivity asked a million questions like an interrogation.

We dropped Electric Kettle and Internet Connectivity at their houses and quickly jumped back in the van. We left them in shock. They didn’t have running water, electricity, or an electric stove. They had their caravan of items looking silly on the bare floor. Peace Corps was there to greet them. Bong County was far, far away. Maybe only 60 miles, but the road was terrible. Thankfully, it didn’t rain. The chaperone had stories at nearly every bump in the road. As a child, he sang with the national choir and sang for President Tubman, 16th president of Liberia. As the accordion played, they sang “President Tubman we welcome you. Welcome you. Welcome you. “ His face lit up as he sang and pumped his imaginary accordion to his chest. Memories were like knives that cut his heart, but sweetly reminded him of the past. Now, the road was corrupted from twenty years of disservice. One bridge had been sloppily blown up to prevent arms transportation. We could still see it from the hastily constructed new bridge. People walked across it to fish, but cars couldn’t go. Bitter reminders floated by as the van jostled us around like rag dolls.

We arrived at Cuttington University with great relief. Our chaperone said he was going to miss me. I was the least demanding of everyone and had thoughtfully wrote him a thank you note. He asked me in front of the delicatessen at Exclusive if I penned the letter. I admitted I bought the postcard at The Oasis in Austin. A few nice words and a card from halfway around the world touched him. I was touched too by everything I had seen in Monrovia.

The Intercontinental Ducor is mythic. Everyone talks about how great it once was. Truth be told, it wasn’t that great. The power would go out and the windows didn’t open. You’d just sweat in the tropical hot box. However, the Ducor is a metaphorical and real symbol of post civil war Liberia. A former employee lives in its ruins, but keeps old brochures around. He took me on a tour and showed me pictures. This was a spot of extreme pride—even now. Nigerian soldiers part of the UNMIL keep squatters to a minimum. Child soldiers stripped the place to its bare walls allowing the Atlantic to beat it down further. Once the home of West African prestige, this place is just sad. Maybe it will come back from the brink of despair. Hopefully